What I won't be doing on the Plinth

I'm reposting this here as the One & Other website diary/blog/thing has a unfortunate problem of being shit, and cutting off my post after the first two sentences.

Now that a few of the first plinthers have strutted their stuff, I still have little idea about what I'm going to do; but it is easier to say with authority what I WON'T be doing. Hopefully without sounding too negative, here we go;

1. I won't be 'freestyling'. That's another word for 'I'm not inventive enough to think of something in advance, so I'm just going to grin inanely and counter hecklers.'

2. I won't be reading a book or some other mundane activity. There's nicer places to read books. Try a library.

3. I won't (only) be taking photos of the onlookers. This was my initial idea, being a keen amateur photographer; to record a kind of meta-plinth photo blog of my time up there. But on reflection, everybody is a photographer nowadays, and I bet at least one person a day tries to fulfill this idea in a new and innovative way.

4. I won't be promoting a business. I mean, come ON. Talk about missing the point by a light year.

5. I (probably) won't be raising money for, or promoting, a charity. A bit controversial maybe, but again, I think this is diluting the point of the project. The idea is (as I see it) to take a snapshot of British life and culture, and expose the raw humanity of each person brave enough to stand up there. Charity is an important part of culture (I work for one) and has a place on the plinth, but it's not such a major component of Britishness that it needs to be stuffed into every performance.

6. I won't be 'representing my town/county/region'. I was born in Devon, grew up in Wales, have a Scottish name, and live on the Isle of Wight. I consider myself British or European; I have no strong emotional ties to any place.

7. I won't be dancing or singing. That would be a sure-fire way of emptying Trafalgar Square in record time.

On a side note, I notice the rules state 'no weapons on the plinth'. Please can an exception be made if I specifically target busking bagpipers?