Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Dear Lockheed Martin (UK Census 2011 response)

Dear Lockheed Martin,

Please find attached my returned Census form. You will note that I have not filled in any personal details about myself or anybody who may or may not be in my household. This is because I object to handing my personal details to an arms manufacturer. I hold this funny little opinion that a business who profits from death and war is not one that I choose to trust.

However, I do understand that you are spending a great deal of my* taxpayer's money on processing this census, and would hate to see this completely wasted, so I have filled out the form with the details of my cat. I do not believe that public knowledge of her personal details could put her or her family at any particular risk, so you are free to absorb, process, publish and/or abuse this information at your leisure.

Kind regards and best of luck with the ripe developing market in North Africa.

The Occupier
[address redacted]

* Aha, that is if I pay tax... you nearly had me there.

Cat Census 1
Cat Census 2
Cat Census 3

Sent 9 March 2011. If I exchange further correspondence with Lockheed Martin or the Census, I will post it here.

Fans of Shiva can also see how well she dealt with my antagonistic correspondence with PayPal.