Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Dear Lockheed Martin (UK Census 2011 response)

Dear Lockheed Martin,


Please find attached my returned Census form. You will note that I have not filled in any personal details about myself or anybody who may or may not be in my household. This is because I object to handing my personal details to an arms manufacturer. I hold this funny little opinion that a business who profits from death and war is not one that I choose to trust.


However, I do understand that you are spending a great deal of my* taxpayer's money on processing this census, and would hate to see this completely wasted, so I have filled out the form with the details of my cat. I do not believe that public knowledge of her personal details could put her or her family at any particular risk, so you are free to absorb, process, publish and/or abuse this information at your leisure.


Kind regards and best of luck with the ripe developing market in North Africa.


The Occupier
[address redacted]


* Aha, that is if I pay tax... you nearly had me there.


Cat Census 1
Cat Census 2
Cat Census 3

Sent 9 March 2011. If I exchange further correspondence with Lockheed Martin or the Census, I will post it here.


Fans of Shiva can also see how well she dealt with my antagonistic correspondence with PayPal.

16 comments:

Ben said...

This is epic Ian, errm, I mean Shiva.

richardslade said...

Fantastic. Shame I don't have a pet to do the same

128 said...

Fabulous work Shiva, well done.

disagreeableweasel said...

Thank you, Shiva and Ian, you've made my day.

Jordan said...

Love it!

Annie said...

I had this passed on to me by a friend who knew my own reaction to the census. Mine was filled in for my dog and 11 chickens. I also stapled it into the envelope to make really sure they didn't lose my chickens' details. Sadly, I suffered a jam-related incident whilst filling it in. I think it's mostly still readable, though. Apart from the part where I filled it in with a green highlighter pen (I'd reserved the black marker for the barcodes).

My family is concerned that I am going to go to prison. I, however, couldn't give a flying monkey!

michaeledits said...

Not only is it epic, but I must see the PayPal correspondence and wonder why I didn't do the same during my dispute with them. Shiva's got a new fan.

weewiccababe said...

fantastic work - I decided to take the route of "let's make this whole census thing unprofitable for Lockheed Martin" instead by adding bits and pieces that will ensure someone will have to enter the data from my form by hand
good for you
Debbi

The Wild Fairy said...

Shiva Darling! Purrrrrr......Irish Kitties are doing the same on April 10th. You've given me some sensational ideas! Thanks! xo

Karen said...

Love it! Wish I'd had this idea with my cat. Shiva has another fan. Off to read PayPal stuff now :D

helen frances said...

This is brilliant hope you post it and tell them where to stick it if they give you shit.:-)

stattman said...

Very funny brilliant, if only I'd have thought of it

Would love to get an official response...

Shiva - good on ye!!!

Mark

tideliar said...

genius!

overland.wanderer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
brig beastie said...

stupid IMO, we need arms,census info can be heplfull, and you are just spoiling it

Nora said...

Awesome!